from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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