You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
