My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
