Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
this will be a night to untag.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
