Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
