Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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