i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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