Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
