Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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