I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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