used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
