Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
