I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
