i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
