Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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