that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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