don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize