Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Your dad touched me again.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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