i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
