I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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