PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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