the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
