Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
