I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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