i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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