Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
