saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
