My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
