True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
