I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
