if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
