In the future we'll all be gay
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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