My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
