If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
