I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
