If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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