Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
why do cheetos always look like penises
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize
