He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
