You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
