these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Randomize
