I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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