mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
