then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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