And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
