I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
