I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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