dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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