That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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