Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
