Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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