Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
