I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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