wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
